'I was lost' - Dancing with fans, hiding the pain

"I retrieve astatine a constituent earlier nan Euros, I was reasoning 'can I proceed to do this?'. I had nary escape," Furness tells BBC Sport NI arsenic she opens up astir her intelligence wellness journey.

"It was a really, really reliable decision, but nan small woman successful maine wanted to play astatine a awesome tournament, to spell and acquisition that."

She boarded nan level to Southampton, and, pinch her customary smile, made history stepping retired against Norway successful Northern Ireland women's first lucifer astatine a awesome tournament.

But down nan outgoing persona, things were brewing.

Midway done nan tourney she wanted to spell location for nan liking of her intelligence health.

"You mightiness deliberation it's crazy, but I conscionable wasn't happy," says Furness.

"Everything conscionable seemed truthful successful spot connected nan shot side, it was going really well."

In nan background, everything wasn't arsenic rosy.

Off nan pitch, she had been processing nan extremity of a semipermanent narration alongside her father's illness.

Coupled pinch nan high-intensity situation of a awesome tournament, she had reached breaking point.

"Personally, I wasn't happy pinch myself successful nan environment," Furness adds.

“Then you commencement to question, why? Why americium I doing this? Why do I consciousness for illustration this?"

After shedding immoderate tears, she composes herself to callback nan conversations arsenic team-mates attempted to seduce her to stay successful camp, alternatively than locomotion retired connected a run that was nan pinnacle of each their world careers.

Furness and her chap players talked agelong and deep, looking retired from their edifice overlooking Southampton’s sun-kissed harbour. In nan end, she was convinced to stay.

"I'm gladsome I did enactment because I spell backmost to that infinitesimal pinch nan fans astatine nan end, and reasoning that was each worthy it," she says. "That's nan typical infinitesimal I return away."

But erstwhile nan singing stopped, erstwhile nan dancing was done, a determination remained.

Furness had managed to get done nan tournament, but her mind was made up. She needed to return a measurement backmost from a squad she loved truthful much.

After nan tournament, she had conversations pinch unit astir "how I was feeling, and really I was made to feel" and why she couldn't transportation on.

"It was reliable to get crossed really I felt, and really mentally I was feeling," she says.

"I did blasted myself for a batch of that. Before I'd spoken to personification and made consciousness of it, you do conscionable blasted yourself.

"I emotion representing Northern Ireland, and taking that consequence of stepping back, ne'er knowing if I'd measurement backmost in, was 1 of nan biggest decisions of my life.

“Two years connected you tin show it still touches and it still intends a lot, but it's 1 I tin comfortably speak astir now. I'm successful a overmuch amended spot for that."