'I wondered if I would walk normally again'

Scotland's Lisa Aitken wondered if she would ever locomotion usually again arsenic she battled backmost from a career-threatening knee injury.

The 34-year-old has had room 3 times aft afloat rupturing nan anterior cruciate and medial collateral ligaments arsenic good arsenic tearing nan meniscus successful her knee during a lucifer successful precocious 2022.

Almost 2 years on, Aitken - who has competed successful 3 Commonwealth Games - will make her comeback astatine adjacent week's Qatar Classic astatine Khalifa International Squash Complex successful Doha.

"Just having to person 2 follow-up surgeries, I was reasoning 'will I ever beryllium capable to locomotion usually again?' There was a important play of clip wherever I was limping," she told BBC Sport Scotland.

"The much clip went on, nan much I became alert I mightiness not beryllium capable to return to athletics astatine an elite level and past my mindset astir apt had a small displacement to 'I conscionable want to locomotion again, I conscionable want to beryllium capable to tally aft my kids 1 day' and rehab nan knee from that constituent of view.

"But that was very short lived. The measurement athletes are wired, you ever want to defy nan odds, you ever want to execute awesome things moreover if they are impossible, truthful that very quickly changed to 'I conscionable want to get backmost connected tour'.

"I americium astir apt existent astir nan goals I want to execute now; conscionable getting backmost connected circuit and being capable to put connected that dress, person nan sweat bands on, person a referee telephone retired my sanction and nan people is simply nan short-term goal."

The wounded came astatine a clip erstwhile Aitken's profession was very overmuch connected nan up – she had conscionable reached a profession precocious of 21 successful nan world ranking.

The Montrose jock admits she recovered nan intelligence torment during nan gruelling conflict backmost tougher than nan beingness fight.

Aitken highlighted dealing pinch "the grieving process astir losing your personality for a play of time, losing your career, your job, your salary".

She added: "When you are an jock your sanction is very overmuch associated pinch nan player, pinch nan competitor and that was gone.

"Not knowing erstwhile that was going to travel back, if that was going to comeback was really tough. Going done nan thoughts of: 'Who americium I?' 'What is my intent now?' 'What do I do if I can't get back?'

"I person a mates of psychologists I activity pinch and I americium very grateful for them. Had I not had them I astir apt wouldn't beryllium returning to nan athletics astatine all.

"The beingness symptom you tin handle, it is nan intelligence challenges that bring it – not making money, not knowing who you are and if you are going to beryllium capable to get that back."

While thrilled to beryllium backmost successful action, Aitken believes "it is going to beryllium evident very quickly whether I americium going to beryllium capable to compete astatine nan level I americium utilized to aliases not".

"I will cognize wrong astir six to 8 months," she explained. "I will beryllium very honest, if I americium not emotion for illustration I tin compete astatine a level I americium happy with, I will telephone it a day.

"I person goals of being nan Scottish number 1 again. We person nan Commonwealth Games successful 2 years' time, hopefully squash tin beryllium included successful Glasgow.

"Then, not beating astir nan bush, we person been included successful nan Olympics for nan first clip successful LA '28.

"I will beryllium 38, that is simply a very agelong changeable of a target but truthful agelong arsenic I americium patient and if nan play goes good this year, that whitethorn go a target for me.

"I was retired successful my mid-20s for two-and-a-half years pinch nan effects of Dengue fever and I person now been retired for a mates of years pinch this knee injury, truthful I consciousness for illustration moreover though I americium 34, I person years successful nan slope that are unused."

And nan Scot has opened up connected her determination to put her dreams of becoming a genitor connected clasp while she bids to effort and move those of nan Olympic assortment successful to reality.

"I deliberation astir apt nan squad would beryllium decided rather a while retired from LA 28 truthful possibly early 2027 I would cognize by past truthful it is honestly not excessively agelong away, but you put everything into this sport, it would beryllium crazy not to springiness nan Olympics a shot," she added.

"A batch will dangle really this first mates of seasons spell backmost connected circuit that will springiness maine a realistic thought of whether aliases not I tin compete for a spot.

"First and foremost for maine is, is that going to beryllium an achievable extremity based connected this rehab I person gone through? If so, of people those conversations will beryllium had around, for example, freezing eggs and redeeming motherhood for later down nan line.

"I deliberation 37, 38 is young to still go a mum for nan first clip and it is besides doable to beryllium an athlete, you either strive and time off nary chromatic unturned and go and Olympian, which is beautiful cool, aliases you don’t and you person bid complete knowing you gave it perfectly everything aliases you go a mum and some those things are really rather cool."