My girlfriend is in a bad situation with her money and her career. She wants us to move in together but I’m concerned.

Dear Dave,

I’m beautiful responsible pinch finances, but my woman is successful a bad business pinch her money and her career. She has a immense car payment, and tons of in installments paper debt. On apical of this, it takes almost 40% of what she brings location each period conscionable to salary rent, and she discontinue her occupation because she decided she didn’t for illustration it anymore. She’s been floating tons of ideas, for illustration filing bankruptcy aliases moving successful pinch me. She thinks america surviving together will thief her study to beryllium much responsible pinch her finances. I’m concerned that if she can’t grip her finances connected her own, what will hap if we move successful together? Your proposal would beryllium appreciated.

Dan

Dear Dan,

I can’t opportunity if she’s technically bankrupt astatine this point. But for starters, she decidedly needs to waste nan car and find a cheaper spot to live. I’m besides not judge really agelong you 2 person been seeing each other, but this is personification to support dating, not wed aliases fto move in.

The difficult reality is that bankruptcy’s not going to lick thing if she’s sewage a bosom problem. By “heart problem,” I mean if she buys things reasoning worldly will make her happy and surviving measurement beyond her intends successful nan process. Lots of folks mistakenly deliberation they are wherever they unrecorded aliases what they drive. Those are nan kinds of bosom problems I’m talking about. And it’s nan measurement I was years agone earlier going collapsed knocked immoderate consciousness into me. It wasn’t until past I realized I had to make immoderate superior changes successful my life.

Don’t get maine wrong. What I’ve conscionable said doesn’t mean this lady’s a bad person. It conscionable intends she’s sewage immoderate increasing up to do. And each nan money matters aside, you don’t conscionable up and discontinue your occupation without a coagulated scheme successful spot unless there’s a superior matter of rule astatine stake, aliases you’re nan unfortunate of maltreatment aliases harassment. Leaving 1 occupation for different is fine. But nan thought of abruptly deciding you conscionable don’t for illustration something, past stepping distant from it erstwhile you’ve sewage a bunch of financial obligations, is conscionable plain irresponsible. You don’t jump disconnected nan dock until nan vessel arrives!

Again, I don’t cognize each nan specifications down her finances, but chances are she’s not bankrupt. There are immoderate characteristic issues successful each this that request to beryllium addressed, though. If it were me, I’d propose she walk immoderate clip seeing a bully financial counselor—one pinch nan bosom of a teacher. Then, you tin enactment arsenic her support strategy to thief support her connected track, and promote her to support moving guardant toward getting power of her money.

–Dave