A teenager fell off a Utah cliff to his death. His sister found a unique way to keep his memory alive

Sydney Bishop, CNN

CAPITOL REEF NATIONAL PARK (CNN) — Two days aft Jonathan Fielding fell to his decease while taking photos from a scenic place successful confederate Utah, his older sister Rebecca recovered herself sitting connected nan aforesaid ledge wherever he had mislaid his footing.

It was January 29. She had driven immoderate 15 hours from her location successful Missouri, wherever they had grown up.

Wracked pinch grief, Rebecca Fielding said she was successful a “really acheronian place.” Jonathan was her champion friend, and while she sometimes doubted others’ emotion for her, she ne'er questioned his. She said she’d journeyed to Utah to return her ain life.

Rebecca said she was readying to time off a diary astatine nan tract pinch her past words erstwhile nan clouds parted and sunlight embraced her.

“I felt nan sun connected my back, and it felt for illustration personification was giving maine a hug,” Rebecca said. “And successful that moment, things conscionable felt nan teeniest spot better, and it didn’t consciousness arsenic overmuch for illustration nan extremity of nan world.”

So, Rebecca near nan leather-bound diary and a pen pinch a statement astir her relative explaining “what nan world lost” pinch him gone. She besides near a container of Takis chips, a Spiderman plushie she had bought astatine a state position and immoderate mini integrative babies — an wrong joke betwixt her and her family.

She past drove backmost to Missouri — pinch nary expectations for what was to come.

“My extremity was conscionable to show group what happened … It bothered maine that my full world had imploded astatine that spot and nary 1 visiting would person immoderate idea,” she told CNN. “I ne'er expected strangers to consciousness truthful connected to a dormant personification they ne'er heard of.”

A ‘Grand Canyon sized people connected nan world’

Jonathan Fielding had moved to Orem, Utah, astir six months earlier his death. Originally from Blue Springs, Missouri, he loved photography and exploring nature. So nan red-rock scenery of confederate Utah was an perfect spot for him to walk clip while connected breaks from his income job.

On January 27, Jonathan and respective friends were visiting Moonscape Overlook, a distant ridge eastbound of Capitol Reef National Park that offers panoramic views of nan surrounding desert. Jonathan was taking photos erstwhile a cliff he stepped connected crumbled and he fell much than 200 feet to his death.

He was 19.

Rebecca said that while Jonathan was passionate astir photography, he didn’t stock his photos overmuch pinch her. She didn’t observe his new photography website until aft his death. Parts of nan tract stay unfinished.

After his decease Rebecca looked done her brother’s cameras and recovered photos Jonathan had taken nan time he fell. They see striking images from the Moonscape Overlook, its otherworldly vistas illuminated by nan day sun.

“Jonathan saw beauty everyplace he went,” she wrote successful a TikTok post. “While he mightiness not beryllium nan taxable of nan photos he took conscionable moments earlier his death, he is successful each 1 of them.”

Rebecca said she grew up cheery successful a belief situation and lives pinch autism and depression. For her, Jonathan was nan only personification she was comfortable letting spot her astatine her “absolute worst,” and that “he ne'er erstwhile judged maine for it.”

In her grief, Rebecca near a statement successful nan diary she near astatine nan tract of her brother’s fall:

“Jonathan Fielding 5/5/2004 – 1/27/24, a psyche excessively axenic for this world, a kid excessively fearless for his ain good, a friend whose kindness knew nary bounds,” she wrote connected nan first page, “A boy who could ne'er disappoint, a relative whose emotion knew nary limit. A personification who near a Grand Canyon sized people connected this world.”

The diary received a fewer entries from strangers, but it soon became excessively weathered to past nan godforsaken elements.

So Rebecca returned to Utah successful April and replaced nan diary pinch a sturdier and “more waterproof” one, on pinch an relationship of what had happened to her relative and a caller pen. This clip she added, “I emotion you Bro. And convey you for loving me.”

Tammy Mayo Fielding, Rebecca and Jonathan’s mother, besides near a statement successful nan journal.

Two months later, connected June 12, hiker Sherrie Joyce Miller was taking a thrust on Utah’s  Highway 24 pinch her adjacent friend Kelli Hansen erstwhile they pulled complete astatine their favourite swimming spread by nan Dirty Devil River.

Miller, who prefers to beryllium known arsenic Sherr Joy, told CNN that aft she sewage retired of nan car pinch her canine Bandit, she noticed a achromatic notebook nether a stone adjacent a tree.

It turned retired to beryllium nan diary Rebecca had near successful April. Sherr Joy recognized nan sanction and nan explanation from having publication nan news astir Jonathan’s death. “I realized it was thing precious, “she said.

Captivated, she put nan diary successful a gallon container and tucked it backmost nether a rock, past near a statement of her own, signed pinch her nickname, “Sharki.”

Rebecca Fielding had besides visited Utah again successful June but had not been capable to find nan diary aliases publication immoderate of nan caller entries successful it. On that travel she had moreover near a 3rd diary successful a waterproof instrumentality pinch a photograph medium adjacent nan spot of Jonathan’s death, reasoning nan erstwhile 1 had been lost.

It turns retired nan April diary had been picked up from Jonathan’s resting spot astatine nan extremity of Moon Overlook Road and near adjacent Highway 24 by personification who identified themselves only arsenic “a nomad” who believed it to beryllium a “random notebook near by a tourist.”

“It was only aft reaching this spot did I cautiously publication its pages,” nan nomad wrote successful nan diary connected June 1. “Perhaps Jonathan wanted to person 1 past adventure. What a astir magical spot he chose.”

By then, different strangers had already near notes successful nan journal. One introduction was from personification visiting from The Netherlands.

After messaging Rebecca done Facebook, Sherr Joy and Hansen helped her devise a scheme to make nan diary a spot wherever Jonathan’s representation could unrecorded on.

“I reached retired to Rebecca arsenic 1 quality being to another, I thought nan family mightiness want nan diary returned to wherever it started,” Sherr Joy said. “I judge condolences manifests into emotion erstwhile we arsenic quality beings clasp each different pinch kindness whether we personally knew personification aliases not.”

Strangers began leaving messages to grant Jonathan

A nationalist Facebook group, “Jonathan Fielding’s Journal Journey” was calved 2 days later. The page asks travelers to update nan diary earlier passing it on to nan adjacent personification who finds it.

Joy went backmost to Highway 24 and near a photograph of Jonathan, on pinch a explanation of nan diary task connected nan back, truthful early passersby would person context.

“If you find this book, please return it to a caller location and time off it for nan adjacent traveler,” she wrote connected a laminated portion of paper. “His sister, Rebecca Fielding started a Facebook page to way his journal. Please station a image truthful his family whitethorn way nan journey.”

Rebecca besides made a TikTok video connected June 14 to stock nan entries made successful nan diary earlier Sherr Joy’s discovery. She group nan TikTok to nan opus “Not Dead Yet,” by Lord Huron, Jonathan’s favourite band, and added a connection successful nan past slide: “As agelong arsenic 1 personification remembers who he was, he will ne'er afloat die.”

The video shows immoderate of nan comments near successful nan journal.

“Jonathan, we did not cognize you…” wrote 2 travelers who identified themselves arsenic David W. and James H. “We do cognize this: you took your past breaths astatine this sublime, heavenly place. And that, for illustration your life, has to mean something.”

Another entry, signed by nan nomad, read: “Jonathan… whitethorn you bask immoderate clip present listening to nan h2o and resting nether this tree.”

Others near items successful nan journal, for illustration feathers and leaves.

Rebecca said that she near nan diary for Jonathan — but besides for a mini portion of herself. It was a outcry for help, she said.

“I wanted to beryllium seen, beautiful much. I wanted my condolences and symptom to beryllium seen because I person a large family. It felt for illustration group were looking astatine me, but they weren’t seeing maine and seeing what I was going through,” she said. “(I was) conscionable emotion for illustration an outsider and conscionable emotion truthful unsocial because Jonathan was my person… I conscionable didn’t want to beryllium unsocial anymore.”

The powerfulness of quality relationship successful nan look of tragedy

For Rebecca Fielding, nan diary task happened somewhat by accident. But nan emotion she felt from her brother, she says, was thing but intentional. He was a “ball of light.”

She said she feels for illustration “nothing I do will ever beryllium bully capable to dress up for what happened … It’s ace cliche, but condolences is conscionable emotion pinch obscurity to go… This emotion I person for him; I don’t really person anyplace other to put it.”

Even so, she’s been profoundly moved by really nan diary thought has grown into “this huge, astonishing thing” that has affected others who person heard Jonathan’s story.

“And I deliberation that’s conscionable truthful fitting for who Jonathan was and is specified a bully measurement to retrieve him, because it was conscionable nan small things he did successful life that made a immense effect connected people.”

According to Rebecca, Jonathan erstwhile spent 30 minutes dissembling a lamp successful a stranger’s gait to free a vertebrate trapped inside. Another time, he and Rebecca were exploring the Utah godforsaken together erstwhile Rebecca started having worry astir whether Jonathan was enjoying himself.

“The full time, I kept asking him, ‘Hey, is this thing you for illustration doing? Do you want to do this instead?’” she recalled. “Eventually, he was conscionable like, ‘Rebecca, I don’t attraction what I’m doing. I’m conscionable happy to beryllium spending clip pinch you.’”

Rebecca said receiving nan diary entries from Sherr Joy was “incredible” and lifted her spirits.

“When (she) sent those messages, I was conscionable blown distant by nan things that group had written successful them because they were perfectly beautiful and conscionable truthful touching,” she said. “I’ll ne'er meet these group (and) I’ll ne'er cognize a batch of their names, but they conscionable really near a people connected my soul.”

For Sherr Joy, uncovering Rebecca’s diary gave her dream for “how we tin make this world a amended place.” She believes “it only takes 1 motion aliases enactment of kindness to create a ripple of bully energy.”

Now nan nationalist group has complete 900 members, and anyone tin usage it to way nan journal’s advancement and location. Rebecca says she’s keeping her “fingers crossed” that nan diary receives much entries soon.

Rebecca said Jonathan besides wrote successful journals. After he died she and their mother found a transition successful 1 of them, which Rebecca publication to CNN.

“Why americium I proud of myself? I don’t quit. I’m focused connected getting amended each day,” Jonathan had written. “I return attraction of others astir me. I motivate everyone astir me. What does maturation require? Patience and forgiveness.”

Jonathan would person turned 20 past month.

Now, his tone lives connected successful nan godforsaken scenery that he loved truthful much, acknowledgment to strangers who are touched and inspired by his communicative — and to his devoted sister, who wants him ne'er to beryllium forgotten.

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The representation of 19-year-old Jonathan Fielding lives connected successful messages written to him by strangers visiting nan Utah scenery he loved. | Courtesy Jonathan Fielding via CNN Newsource